How to Write Kickass Vows
You’re freaking out! Your wedding day is quickly approaching and you haven’t started writing your vows yet. Don’t panic! Here’s a quick and dirty guide to writing vows that your partner will love.
1. Reflect on your relationship.
It’s journal time! Grab a pen and a notebook. Think about how you felt when you first met your fiancé, what made you fall in love and when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. Things to consider:
What did you think when you first saw your partner?
When did you realize you were in love?
Why did you decide to get married?
What are the hard times you've gone through and supported each other through?
What are some of your favorite memories?
What do you want to accomplish together?
How has your life gotten better since meeting your partner?
Not all of this will make it into your vows but it gets those creative juices flowing! (TIP: If I’m your officiant, a lot of this information will be prompted in the questionnaire and you’ll get a copy to help get your started.)
2. Come up with two or three, or a bunch of, promises.
They're called vows for a reason, so the promises part is kind of a big deal. You can include promises that are general (like, "I promise I'll always be there to support you,"), as well as ones that are very specific to the two of you (like, "I promise I'll always let you watch murder documentaries and then go online and read all about the case.")
3. Imagine your longer-term future.
Talk about your shared dreams and visions such as “I can’t wait to have all the babies and grow old with you” or “I can’t wait to travel the world and experience new adventures together”.
4. Make ‘em sweet and silly.
Vows aren’t to be made a mockery of but if you’ve got a sense of humor, it’s okay to add a few silly lines. Just be sure they’re balanced out with the sweetness.
5. Don’t forget to say “I love you”.
You’d be surprised how often this gets left out, perhaps because it’s implied but whether you throw in a whispered “I love you” at the end or mix in somewhere in the middle, love is definitely a part of your story.
6. Now edit it to 2-3 minutes.
Practice in front of the mirror. Out loud. Send to a friend or your officiant to review and provide some feedback.
Additional Tips
Use your own language and style. While the internet has tons of examples, I’m not providing any here because your relationship is unique to you. So just write from your heart. Honor your own voice so it sounds natural when you’re reading it.
Speaking of reading. Yes. You will be writing them down in a vow book or piece of paper. You will practice a bunch and will not recite from memory during the ceremony unless you’re a trained actor. Emotions are heightened and it’ll give you great comfort to hold onto something and avert your eyes to paper if you stumble. I promise.
Bottom line. There’s no right or wrong way to do this as long as you’re expressing whatever it is you feel compelled to say to your partner on your wedding day. You got this!
Cappy Phalen Photography
